Alright, after a conversation with a friend the other day… I need to rant just a wittle bit. (I said Wittle, let me live)
WHO MADE US THE NEW ADULTS?!?
WHO?!
WHO SAID, WE WERE READY TO HAVE SPONSERBILLERIES?!? In ADDITION to managing our mental, emotional, and spiritual health… and ensuring that we’re not in rooms with perfectly padded walls… HUH?!?!?
Like, my friends who are parents?!… TUH, ya’ll got whole, living, breathing, LITTLE humans that you gotta watch over. Every. Day. YOU gotta feed them… BABY DID YOU EAT??!? Did you get YOUR nap today, while they were whining?!?!
I’m confused. I’m JUST A GIRL. I am 32-teen years old. I just graduated high school, like bro…
I don’t know how I have official documents, very real bills, and tasks IN MY NAME. I’ve never said “NO” so much in my life, and DONTASKMETODOANOTHER____THING.
*exhales*
Okay, I’m calm. I think.
Ya’ll life is just life-ing for everybody. I don’t care what your social status is, the number of followers you have, or about the number of bands in your account… everybody is currently tasked with SOMETHING. (Good or bad) And here’s where grace comes in, beloved.
There may be friends that you don’t get a chance to connect with daily/weekly. I know you really want to talk to them, I know you care, and you want to show your love in that way. But what if they don’t have it to give back? What if it’s taking more energy out of them to be on the phone or on facetime, even if you’re both just existing? What if the time you’re wanting from them is the only quiet moment they’ve had all day?
Maybe they wanted those 30 minutes to be still. Maybe they needed that hour to reflect on their day. Or maybe, they needed two days to pray and to be away with God because it was necessary for their very being.
As much as I don’t understand this whole adulting thing, I also fully understand that the generations before us didn’t have a playbook either. They too had to provide for, guide, groom, and grow their children while facing life’s challenges. We’re talking about generations of people, who were not openly discussing mental and emotional health, just fading away by the day. They too had to navigate the world (and a very different world at that), while trying to keep friends and special relationships.
*exhales again*
And YES, there IS strength in community. But there’s also such a thing as codependency. If that friendship, relationship, etc is filling a void or space that’s intended for you and God, I’d ask you to reassess it. Why don’t you want to be alone with your thoughts? What makes you nervous about quiet or still moments? And are you replenishing the person that you’re getting a high from? ‘Cause some of ya’ll drain energy for a living, and don’t even say thank you. Sorry… that slipped out.
I’m closing, but I want to say this (Idk why that just tickled me). Sugga, love people where they are. If you miss your friend/loved one and it doesn’t seem like they want to connect right now, baby PRAY. Please don’t walk in offense, just because you have limited perspective. Allow God to show you, how to show up for THEM. They may not have language for where they are right now… and questions like “What do you need?” or “How can I help?” may be overstimulating.
Just… idk. Ask God how to love the people around you in this season. We all need help.
Pray, chile.
Talk soon,
Racq