Racquel Charise

Shedding Layers Pt. 4

Mon, 10 Aug 2026 07:00:47 -0700

Good Morning Praise The Lord! (Have you ordered your shirt yet?)

Alrightyyyy, I think I left off at me butchering my hair at the root.

So, the morning of my appointment, I had a few virtual meetings and emails to tend to. While I was working through those tasks, I let my butchered cut just fly free. No cover, no wrap, bonnet, just bare; wild.

But as the time drew closer to my hair appointment, I was excited and also a wee bit nervous. I knew my stylist would have to shape my hair, which meant it would be shorter than its current state. But at this point, we were too far into it, and I just had to see it through.

I took a quick pause, and made the executive decision to do my makeup. Hear me out… IF by chance, this haircut turned out to be a literal nightmare, I refused for my face card to decline.

REFUSED.

I said, if nothing else, I will take pictures from the forehead down because no.

Turned out, the haircut and color, ATE DINEEEEE. Now it was up to me, to walk with my...Read More

Shedding Layers PT. 3

Tue, 04 Aug 2026 07:16:55 -0700

I just released the deepest exhale, when I started typing.

Here me out, these last few months have taken me on the ride of my life. I truly feel like I haven’t been able to properly keep up, or catch my breath before the next wave hits. (And apparently, I’m not alone in this)

While I have been fighting with self-reflection, identity, and unlearning, I’ve been faced with more physical grief with family, transitions, changes in relationships; you name it.

By the end of June, I felt like I was gasping for air. I just… I couldn’t take it anymore. The pressure had built up so much that I literally said, “That’s It.” Enough had occurred that I could no longer fake the funk.

I didn’t want to smile through anymore moments. I didn’t want to power through, or be a strong friend. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hold my friends through their waves, and I wanted to be held through mine.

I felt like I had been wearing a mask to cover up the many waves of life, and I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. So, I decided to shed a physical layer; one that scared me, but forced me to look in the mirror.

Here I insert the big chop. Yes, you heard me...Read More

Shedding Layers Pt. 2

Mon, 20 Jul 2026 07:00:20 -0700

Okayyyy, we’re back.
Where did we leave off? Oh, right… crying over Shrek.

I was locked into the movie, instantly. This ogre, in his own swamp, took on the ideal that the world hated him, based on a few negative perspectives. He assumed that he was mean, scary, and ugly to everyone, so he pushed the world away. He roared, he stomped and caused a scene because he felt that he was a monster.
loud Sigh
As the movie goes on, he crosses paths with Donkey. Donkey was loving, talkative, and ready to be a loyal companion. But Shrek wasn’t even comfortable with the idea of having a friend. He didn’t want anybody getting too close.
He even went as far as to say, “People take one look at me and say ahh a big, stupid, ugly ogre. They judge me before they even know me.”. You know what Donkey said in response? “When we met, I didn’t think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.”
My chest got tight again. Wanna know why?

I thought about the amount of times I've acted out of my norm, because people perceived me to be a certain way. So, I chose to...Read More

Shedding Layers Pt. 1

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 07:00:48 -0700

Allllllrightyyyyy.
*Loud deep exhale*
I have a lot to say. So more than likely this blog will have multiple parts.
A few weeks back I was having dinner with a big sister of mine. You know those people, you can’t fake in front of? The ones who see through your, “Oh, I’m cool!” comments? Yeah, she’s in that category. So in between bites of food, she asked questions; my eyes got big with each one.
Cause girl, I did not in fact come here for this.
Eventually she said, “So, I know this isn’t probably on your mind with everything else you have going on, but how’s the dating life?”. Ya’ll I let out the biggest sigh, along with a deep eye roll.

EEEEEYYYUUUCKKKKK!

Ya’ll, I just… ugh. I had a few more sighs, and then I eventually said, “It’s just so layered.”. Now, she was fully prepared to unpack every layer, right at that moment, but I wasn’t. You see, I have realized just how deeply I...Read More

PURPOSEFULLY PLATONIC.

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 07:00:50 -0700

This may ruffle some feathers, but oh well.
I need to talk about being a Christian girlie, and managing platonic friendships.
Yeah, everybody just take a hot second to exhale, cause I'm diving right in.
I've said this before, but I was raised in a two-parent household. The friends that my parents invited over, were typically married, on the way to being married or seriously dating. If there was a single woman around, she was a friend of my mom's, and if there was a single male around, he was a friend of my dad's. They didn't typically have friends of the opposite sex around, if anything, those friends were referred to as "bro" or "sis".
I hope you're following me so far.
So, as a young woman growing up in the church, like many... if you had a male friend, you were asked "So, what's going on here?", "What ya'll got going on?", "Are ya'll dating?" or the ever so subtle, "Oh, they're attractive, don't you think?". The guy could've been a really good friend to you, a confidant, but slowly you begin to see him through another lens. Your hormones are increasing, you're embarking on the phase of life where you desire companionship, children, a family, and before you know it, you're wondering if your friend is thinking the same about you.
Typically not.
*Head...Read More

JUST A GIRL.

Mon, 18 May 2026 07:00:16 -0700

They're just girls.
THEY. ARE. JUST. GIRLS.
I hopped right in there, huh? No preface, nothing.
Let's take a breath. *Loud Exhale*
Alright, a few weeks ago the world celebrated Mother's Day. Natural mothers, mothers who adopted, mothers who've lost, and those who chose to be moms. There's a special kind of grace that rest on mothers, to nurture, to love unconditionally, to repair wounds, and to fill voids before they're even created.
That's so wild.
But the older I get, and am seeing my own mother differently, the more I say, they're just girls.
The women who are the foundation of a family, the birth canal, the root, the rock, and the source of affirmation, are little girls who physically GREW into women.
What if they weren't nurtured? What if they didn't get a chance to BE a girl? What if the pregnancy came at an inopportune time? And.. this may hurt a little bit, but what if the man she laid with wasn't ideal... he was just available. (Married or not, babes... but that's another conversation for another day.)
Do me a favor, and take a second to think. I want you to think about how old your mom was when she had you, and then think about what you were doing at that age. What was your mindset? What were your...Read More

Let's Try Again.

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 07:00:34 -0700

Whew.
The Psalmist Aaliyah said, “Just dust ya’self off, and try again”, and boy did I.
My God.
Alright, so back in January the Lord let me know that it was time for another event. I said now holdddd ittt, cause ya girl was instantly triggered. TRIGGERED.
The last event I hosted was two years ago. I was 3 months into a new wave of grandparent grief, a FRESH breakup, another physical transition, working a full-time job, and trying to finish the first degree. Needless to say, a breakdown was brewing (and if you’ve been around long enough, you know that the breakdown did in fact occur that April.).
Anyhow, though the event was successful, I was running literally on fumes. It took everything I had to pull it together, as I had been crying for days. DAYS.
But even with the trigger, and feeling all of those feels from the past… I knew God meant business about this next event.
Within a few weeks, I texted my girls who were local and abroad, to ask them if they would block off a date for me; they obliged.
The Lord gave me the concept, the venue was secured, and I went to designing the flyer.
Shew.
Ya’ll... I posted the link for guests to secure tickets on a Saturday, by Tuesday morning I had to turn off the link because we had exceeded capacity.
I was stunned.
The girlies were locked in, and the ones who couldn’t come were prepared to sponsor tickets if we needed it. I just… I was not ready for that response.
I decided to keep the décor and esthetic simple, because I wanted the focus of this gathering to be connection and conversation. We were hosting a brunch, and I...Read More

Adverbs.

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 07:00:55 -0700

Good God.
I, eh.
I get so frustrated when I’m not able to write, or rather when I don’t have the wherewithal to write. Like… I always have… hold on, ya’ll, I’m sorry.
*loud exhale*
Before I start my yap, are ya’ll cool? ARE YOU OKAY?! I didn’t even ask, how inconsiderate.
Anyways, I always try to keep a journal or some sort of writing mechanism near me, because my brain is constantly on go. If I had a full day, beverages (with my electroloodees), and a fully charged laptop… ya’ll are getting at least 3 books out of me, guaranteed.
I just enjoy telling my stories, which is a very new thing for me. Why? Because I didn’t think anybody wanted to hear them, and I certainly didn’t think that they mattered.
I have been guilty of being in my head, causing myself to doubt my worth, ability, or purpose… Idk if that makes sense to you, but yeah. That’s my truth.
You wanna know what I’ve realized though? Anytime that I can’t lock-in on my writing, typically its because of distractions.
Distractions can be from life happenings, emergencies, inconveniences, relationship issues, or anything that distorts a plan, or route that was established.
My distraction for the week? Sudden grief.
LUH DHET FUH MEEEEEE.
So, storytime. Last Monday, I spent the day resting after successfully executing a women’s event. (We’ll talk about that next week, its already queued up I swear)
I needed to sleep, I needed to eat, and turn my brain off.
The only thing I knew I wanted to do was write. I knew I wanted to spend some time with...Read More

STEEL WALLS.

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 07:00:39 -0700

Shew.
Alrightttttt.
I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Wait... *deep inhale, and very loud exhale*
I have found myself struggling in the area of boundaries. Well... Let me talk it through first, one second.
I told you guys that I am working my way out of performative love, and acts, but what I've found is that the root of some of that behavior is rejection.
*violent tongues*
Because of rejection from "friends", potential opportunities or even love interests, I have overperformed and done everything in my natural power to prove that I'm the girl for the job.
Immmmmm going to have to walk this out slowly, for my own sake. Shew.
In my career, I've stayed late or answered messages after hours to prove that I'm a hard worker. I've taken the lead on tasks that weren't even mine to own, to show that I am a self starter. In relationships, I've been available for venting sessions and brain dumps, to prove that I'm a present friend or partner. (When I had 0 energy) I've cried in the car on the way to support friends in big moments, just so they know I'll show up every time. (Even if it costs...Read More

ADJUST & MOVE

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 07:00:22 -0800

Good Lord.
We haven't talked in 52 days, like bro.
Ya'll so much has been happening, I am doing my best to hold it all in a row. Life is moving at a swift pace, and I don't know how to appropriately keep up. Is there a way to keep up? What's the rhythm?
Idk.
*loud exhale*
Let's just start here: all of my current responsibilities are... a lot. I have new weight, new challenges, new changes, new transitions, new communication, new standards, and even new boundaries that I'm implementing. I'm in this new role, that I absolutely love, but it can be demanding at times. I am re-trying dating (I know chile, I know... but it hasn't been ghetto. That's another blog for another day). I've been having car trouble, so I'm now looking into purchasing a new baby (Lord help my heart, and my pockets). And in the middle of all the waves of life, I've just been trying to be present for Racquel.
But when can I think about me?
My brain is constantly on the next thing, the next assignment, the next event on the calendar, or recently... it's been on the fact that I haven't connected with my people.
I started feeling guilty recently, because I felt like I was being short or unresponsive to my village. I felt like I was neglecting them, and not giving them the time that I feel...Read More