Racquel Charise

PURPOSEFULLY PLATONIC.

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 07:00:50 -0700

This may ruffle some feathers, but oh well.

I need to talk about being a Christian girlie, and managing platonic friendships.

Yeah, everybody just take a hot second to exhale, cause I'm diving right in.

I've said this before, but I was raised in a two-parent household. The friends that my parents invited over, were typically married, on the way to being married or seriously dating. If there was a single woman around, she was a friend of my mom's, and if there was a single male around, he was a friend of my dad's. They didn't typically have friends of the opposite sex around, if anything, those friends were referred to as "bro" or "sis".

I hope you're following me so far.

So, as a young woman growing up in the church, like many... if you had a male friend, you were asked "So, what's going on here?", "What ya'll got going on?", "Are ya'll dating?" or the ever so subtle, "Oh, they're attractive, don't you think?". The guy could've been a really good friend to you, a confidant, but slowly you begin to see him through another lens. Your hormones are increasing, you're embarking on the phase of life where you desire companionship, children, a family, and before you know it, you're wondering if your friend is thinking the same about you.

Typically not.

*Head...Read More

JUST A GIRL.

Mon, 18 May 2026 07:00:16 -0700

They're just girls.
THEY. ARE. JUST. GIRLS.
I hopped right in there, huh? No preface, nothing.
Let's take a breath. *Loud Exhale*
Alright, a few weeks ago the world celebrated Mother's Day. Natural mothers, mothers who adopted, mothers who've lost, and those who chose to be moms. There's a special kind of grace that rest on mothers, to nurture, to love unconditionally, to repair wounds, and to fill voids before they're even created.
That's so wild.
But the older I get, and am seeing my own mother differently, the more I say, they're just girls.
The women who are the foundation of a family, the birth canal, the root, the rock, and the source of affirmation, are little girls who physically GREW into women.
What if they weren't nurtured? What if they didn't get a chance to BE a girl? What if the pregnancy came at an inopportune time? And.. this may hurt a little bit, but what if the man she laid with wasn't ideal... he was just available. (Married or not, babes... but that's another conversation for another day.)
Do me a favor, and take a second to think. I want you to think about how old your mom was when she had you, and then think about what you were doing at that age. What was your mindset? What were your...Read More

Let's Try Again.

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 07:00:34 -0700

Whew.
The Psalmist Aaliyah said, “Just dust ya’self off, and try again”, and boy did I.
My God.
Alright, so back in January the Lord let me know that it was time for another event. I said now holdddd ittt, cause ya girl was instantly triggered. TRIGGERED.
The last event I hosted was two years ago. I was 3 months into a new wave of grandparent grief, a FRESH breakup, another physical transition, working a full-time job, and trying to finish the first degree. Needless to say, a breakdown was brewing (and if you’ve been around long enough, you know that the breakdown did in fact occur that April.).
Anyhow, though the event was successful, I was running literally on fumes. It took everything I had to pull it together, as I had been crying for days. DAYS.
But even with the trigger, and feeling all of those feels from the past… I knew God meant business about this next event.
Within a few weeks, I texted my girls who were local and abroad, to ask them if they would block off a date for me; they obliged.
The Lord gave me the concept, the venue was secured, and I went to designing the flyer.
Shew.
Ya’ll... I posted the link for guests to secure tickets on a Saturday, by Tuesday morning I had to turn off the link because we had exceeded capacity.
I was stunned.
The girlies were locked in, and the ones who couldn’t come were prepared to sponsor tickets if we needed it. I just… I was not ready for that response.
I decided to keep the décor and esthetic simple, because I wanted the focus of this gathering to be connection and conversation. We were hosting a brunch, and I...Read More

Adverbs.

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 07:00:55 -0700

Good God.
I, eh.
I get so frustrated when I’m not able to write, or rather when I don’t have the wherewithal to write. Like… I always have… hold on, ya’ll, I’m sorry.
*loud exhale*
Before I start my yap, are ya’ll cool? ARE YOU OKAY?! I didn’t even ask, how inconsiderate.
Anyways, I always try to keep a journal or some sort of writing mechanism near me, because my brain is constantly on go. If I had a full day, beverages (with my electroloodees), and a fully charged laptop… ya’ll are getting at least 3 books out of me, guaranteed.
I just enjoy telling my stories, which is a very new thing for me. Why? Because I didn’t think anybody wanted to hear them, and I certainly didn’t think that they mattered.
I have been guilty of being in my head, causing myself to doubt my worth, ability, or purpose… Idk if that makes sense to you, but yeah. That’s my truth.
You wanna know what I’ve realized though? Anytime that I can’t lock-in on my writing, typically its because of distractions.
Distractions can be from life happenings, emergencies, inconveniences, relationship issues, or anything that distorts a plan, or route that was established.
My distraction for the week? Sudden grief.
LUH DHET FUH MEEEEEE.
So, storytime. Last Monday, I spent the day resting after successfully executing a women’s event. (We’ll talk about that next week, its already queued up I swear)
I needed to sleep, I needed to eat, and turn my brain off.
The only thing I knew I wanted to do was write. I knew I wanted to spend some time with...Read More

STEEL WALLS.

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 07:00:39 -0700

Shew.
Alrightttttt.
I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Wait... *deep inhale, and very loud exhale*
I have found myself struggling in the area of boundaries. Well... Let me talk it through first, one second.
I told you guys that I am working my way out of performative love, and acts, but what I've found is that the root of some of that behavior is rejection.
*violent tongues*
Because of rejection from "friends", potential opportunities or even love interests, I have overperformed and done everything in my natural power to prove that I'm the girl for the job.
Immmmmm going to have to walk this out slowly, for my own sake. Shew.
In my career, I've stayed late or answered messages after hours to prove that I'm a hard worker. I've taken the lead on tasks that weren't even mine to own, to show that I am a self starter. In relationships, I've been available for venting sessions and brain dumps, to prove that I'm a present friend or partner. (When I had 0 energy) I've cried in the car on the way to support friends in big moments, just so they know I'll show up every time. (Even if it costs...Read More

ADJUST & MOVE

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 07:00:22 -0800

Good Lord.
We haven't talked in 52 days, like bro.
Ya'll so much has been happening, I am doing my best to hold it all in a row. Life is moving at a swift pace, and I don't know how to appropriately keep up. Is there a way to keep up? What's the rhythm?
Idk.
*loud exhale*
Let's just start here: all of my current responsibilities are... a lot. I have new weight, new challenges, new changes, new transitions, new communication, new standards, and even new boundaries that I'm implementing. I'm in this new role, that I absolutely love, but it can be demanding at times. I am re-trying dating (I know chile, I know... but it hasn't been ghetto. That's another blog for another day). I've been having car trouble, so I'm now looking into purchasing a new baby (Lord help my heart, and my pockets). And in the middle of all the waves of life, I've just been trying to be present for Racquel.
But when can I think about me?
My brain is constantly on the next thing, the next assignment, the next event on the calendar, or recently... it's been on the fact that I haven't connected with my people.
I started feeling guilty recently, because I felt like I was being short or unresponsive to my village. I felt like I was neglecting them, and not giving them the time that I feel...Read More

SILENT REFLECTIONS.

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 06:04:11 -0800

Shew.
This may be a little long, we'll see.
A few nights ago, a friend and I were talking about a situation that I walked through a couple years back. I can't remember the last time I told that story, especially not that in-depth, but there was purpose behind it.
Anyhow, by the time I took a breath and looked up, there was this shocked look on her face. She just kept saying, "Huh?!".
*Chuckles*
Afterwhile she asked me, "How did you regulate yourself after that happened?". (She said later that that question was prompted by the Lord, because she was still in a daze) She wanted to know, how I processed all of what had happened in such a short amount of time.
Nobody had ever asked me that question; especially not like that.
My body got very still, and I felt emotion leave me quickly... like a vapor. Gone. The next words out of my mouth were, "I was numb for about 3 months.".
It was the literal truth.
When I thought back to that season, I remember going into protective/defense mode... almost like, "Quel, let's do whatever we have to, to power through this moment.", and I did. I couldn't afford to fall a...Read More

SNOWCATION

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 07:00:23 -0800

Alright.
It's currently snowing in Memphis, and we are... stuck to say the least.
There's about 10+ inches of snow on the ground, and we can't even see the road. Nowhere to go, nothing to tend to, no event that requires a rushed moment... just stillness, and my thoughts.
EEEEYUCK.
Let me back track for just a second.
I recently told you guys that I started a new job; it's been great, fulfilling to say the least. However, because of the nature of the position, I've not had a lot of time to connect in my personal relationships; family, friends, etc. I quite literally communicate with people all day. So, by the end of the day... sometimes night, I just want to go to bed. At that point my brain is on the brink of exploding, and I just need to turn it off.
Then came the weekend.
Meteorologists and social media experts were predicting this "winter snow storm" to be historic. Everyone said, "Wherever you plan to be by Friday evening... just know you're staying there through the weekend". *chuckles*
Baby, they were not lying. I couldn't drive my little toot-toot out the garage if I wanted to.
Sheesh.
Needless to say, by Saturday in between naps, I was...Read More

Life & Rhythm

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 07:00:19 -0800

I missed coffee shop Mondays.
That's what I realized last week.
I can't remember if I told you guys this or not, but a few years ago I made the decision that Mondays would be my "off day" of choice if I ever had an option. As a church kid, Sundays were usually really full, at least until about 6 PM. Very quickly you realize, you have to begin to prepare your mind for the week ahead, and the energy almost immediately leaves your body. (Or maybe that's just me)
So once I began working part-time positions, I designated Sundays and Mondays to be my off days. This allowed me all of Sunday to be present, without distraction. Then I had Monday to do things for myself, things that fill my cup. Things like going to write at a cute coffee shop until my hands cramp, order a fancy breakfast sandwich, and scroll the clock app in between.
You see coffee shops are where I think, where I refuel, where I plan, and where I breathe. And if I go to my favorite one, I also have a view of the water. (That alone is a calming agent for me)
Last Monday morning was the first time I sat in one, in... I don't even know how long. I was the first person in the door, I was able to pick the perfect seat with the view my soul needed. My wifi connected immediately, because well... my devices knew they were home, and I got right to work.
I started with emails, coordinated some meetings, wrote out some notes, and...Read More

FINDING PACE.

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:04 -0800

Chile.
First of all, Happy New Year! (And and and, TAKE THAT "S" OFF THE END 'FORE I START HOLLIN!)
Now... *very loud exhale* and *Fast blinking*
This is really going to sound like a yap session, so you'll just have to hang on for a second.
Ya'll, today somebody asked me how I was doing, and they wanted a very real answer; They wanted the truth. Ehh. Idk if ya'll have ever had an Amos 9:13 season, but trying to recall the details of your life when things are moving SO FAST, will in fact make your head spin.
I'm usually a really detailed storyteller, I mean hey... I'm an authoress. *hair flip* But over the last 6 weeks... I have forgotten SO many parts, while trying to recall the play by play of each event. Too many times, the days have just run together, and I have to go back to remember what event happened on what day, etc. Here's where I quickly have to insert grace for myself, because Quel... all of this is new. Breathe.
Let's go back to the end of last year for a moment.
Now, ya'll know I have been working part-time in retail since February. Well baby, 'round top of November my grace was lifting. I just... I was in a very "over it" kind of headspace, ya know? And historically on this faith walk, once I become EASILY irritated somewhere, I know a transition is upon me. It is a clear...Read More