Racquel Charise

STEEL WALLS.

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 07:00:39 -0700

Shew.

Alrightttttt.

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Wait... *deep inhale, and very loud exhale*

I have found myself struggling in the area of boundaries. Well... Let me talk it through first, one second.

I told you guys that I am working my way out of performative love, and acts, but what I've found is that the root of some of that behavior is rejection.

*violent tongues*

Because of rejection from "friends", potential opportunities or even love interests, I have overperformed and done everything in my natural power to prove that I'm the girl for the job.

Immmmmm going to have to walk this out slowly, for my own sake. Shew.

In my career, I've stayed late or answered messages after hours to prove that I'm a hard worker. I've taken the lead on tasks that weren't even mine to own, to show that I am a self starter. In relationships, I've been available for venting sessions and brain dumps, to prove that I'm a present friend or partner. (When I had 0 energy) I've cried in the car on the way to support friends in big moments, just so they know I'll show up every time. (Even if it costs...Read More

ADJUST & MOVE

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 07:00:22 -0800

Good Lord.
We haven't talked in 52 days, like bro.
Ya'll so much has been happening, I am doing my best to hold it all in a row. Life is moving at a swift pace, and I don't know how to appropriately keep up. Is there a way to keep up? What's the rhythm?
Idk.
*loud exhale*
Let's just start here: all of my current responsibilities are... a lot. I have new weight, new challenges, new changes, new transitions, new communication, new standards, and even new boundaries that I'm implementing. I'm in this new role, that I absolutely love, but it can be demanding at times. I am re-trying dating (I know chile, I know... but it hasn't been ghetto. That's another blog for another day). I've been having car trouble, so I'm now looking into purchasing a new baby (Lord help my heart, and my pockets). And in the middle of all the waves of life, I've just been trying to be present for Racquel.
But when can I think about me?
My brain is constantly on the next thing, the next assignment, the next event on the calendar, or recently... it's been on the fact that I haven't connected with my people.
I started feeling guilty recently, because I felt like I was being short or unresponsive to my village. I felt like I was neglecting them, and not giving them the time that I feel...Read More

SILENT REFLECTIONS.

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 06:04:11 -0800

Shew.
This may be a little long, we'll see.
A few nights ago, a friend and I were talking about a situation that I walked through a couple years back. I can't remember the last time I told that story, especially not that in-depth, but there was purpose behind it.
Anyhow, by the time I took a breath and looked up, there was this shocked look on her face. She just kept saying, "Huh?!".
*Chuckles*
Afterwhile she asked me, "How did you regulate yourself after that happened?". (She said later that that question was prompted by the Lord, because she was still in a daze) She wanted to know, how I processed all of what had happened in such a short amount of time.
Nobody had ever asked me that question; especially not like that.
My body got very still, and I felt emotion leave me quickly... like a vapor. Gone. The next words out of my mouth were, "I was numb for about 3 months.".
It was the literal truth.
When I thought back to that season, I remember going into protective/defense mode... almost like, "Quel, let's do whatever we have to, to power through this moment.", and I did. I couldn't afford to fall a...Read More

SNOWCATION

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 07:00:23 -0800

Alright.
It's currently snowing in Memphis, and we are... stuck to say the least.
There's about 10+ inches of snow on the ground, and we can't even see the road. Nowhere to go, nothing to tend to, no event that requires a rushed moment... just stillness, and my thoughts.
EEEEYUCK.
Let me back track for just a second.
I recently told you guys that I started a new job; it's been great, fulfilling to say the least. However, because of the nature of the position, I've not had a lot of time to connect in my personal relationships; family, friends, etc. I quite literally communicate with people all day. So, by the end of the day... sometimes night, I just want to go to bed. At that point my brain is on the brink of exploding, and I just need to turn it off.
Then came the weekend.
Meteorologists and social media experts were predicting this "winter snow storm" to be historic. Everyone said, "Wherever you plan to be by Friday evening... just know you're staying there through the weekend". *chuckles*
Baby, they were not lying. I couldn't drive my little toot-toot out the garage if I wanted to.
Sheesh.
Needless to say, by Saturday in between naps, I was...Read More

Life & Rhythm

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 07:00:19 -0800

I missed coffee shop Mondays.
That's what I realized last week.
I can't remember if I told you guys this or not, but a few years ago I made the decision that Mondays would be my "off day" of choice if I ever had an option. As a church kid, Sundays were usually really full, at least until about 6 PM. Very quickly you realize, you have to begin to prepare your mind for the week ahead, and the energy almost immediately leaves your body. (Or maybe that's just me)
So once I began working part-time positions, I designated Sundays and Mondays to be my off days. This allowed me all of Sunday to be present, without distraction. Then I had Monday to do things for myself, things that fill my cup. Things like going to write at a cute coffee shop until my hands cramp, order a fancy breakfast sandwich, and scroll the clock app in between.
You see coffee shops are where I think, where I refuel, where I plan, and where I breathe. And if I go to my favorite one, I also have a view of the water. (That alone is a calming agent for me)
Last Monday morning was the first time I sat in one, in... I don't even know how long. I was the first person in the door, I was able to pick the perfect seat with the view my soul needed. My wifi connected immediately, because well... my devices knew they were home, and I got right to work.
I started with emails, coordinated some meetings, wrote out some notes, and...Read More

FINDING PACE.

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:04 -0800

Chile.
First of all, Happy New Year! (And and and, TAKE THAT "S" OFF THE END 'FORE I START HOLLIN!)
Now... *very loud exhale* and *Fast blinking*
This is really going to sound like a yap session, so you'll just have to hang on for a second.
Ya'll, today somebody asked me how I was doing, and they wanted a very real answer; They wanted the truth. Ehh. Idk if ya'll have ever had an Amos 9:13 season, but trying to recall the details of your life when things are moving SO FAST, will in fact make your head spin.
I'm usually a really detailed storyteller, I mean hey... I'm an authoress. *hair flip* But over the last 6 weeks... I have forgotten SO many parts, while trying to recall the play by play of each event. Too many times, the days have just run together, and I have to go back to remember what event happened on what day, etc. Here's where I quickly have to insert grace for myself, because Quel... all of this is new. Breathe.
Let's go back to the end of last year for a moment.
Now, ya'll know I have been working part-time in retail since February. Well baby, 'round top of November my grace was lifting. I just... I was in a very "over it" kind of headspace, ya know? And historically on this faith walk, once I become EASILY irritated somewhere, I know a transition is upon me. It is a clear...Read More

SHEW.

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 09:00:04 -0800

Forty… blogs…

Wait. Let’s PLEASE take a breath, because this will be lengthy.

*loud exhale*

Y’all, today is the LAST Monday in 2025. Like, next Monday we’ll be in a whole new year!?? I— y’all. HUH?!?

I told y’all, I have quite literally NEVER experienced a year like this one before. And to be standing in the last few days, is just mind boggling.

You know what’s even wilder? The fact that I’ve been able to capture majority of it, through this blog. Through words, I invited you guys into my world, gave...Read More

SIT.

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:00:17 -0800

This blog... will be different.
Let's just all do a very deep inhale, and exhale before we get started.
*Breathe here*
Alright. I have done a good amount of talking over the last year. I have been transparent and I have cried while typing words. But very rarely have I asked you some questions here.
Now, in my workbooks (now available for purchase under the store tab, mhm), there are a good number of exercises, thought-provoking sentiments, and gut-punching phrases. And I want to bring that format here for just a minute if that's okay.
As I said in the last blog, we're at the point in the year where we begin to reflect and review, so I want to help you.
Here are some questions I want you to process through, and if you have a journal or your notes app available, now's the time to pull it out.
Questions:
1. If you had to rate the condition of your heart currently from 1-5, 5 being the best, what number would you give it? Why?
2. Do you feel like you're in safe community? Do you trust the people that you consider friends or are they just esthetically pleasing?
3. Did you grow or change in your romantic life? Do you like the change?
4. Did you try something new this year? Did you enjoy it or nah?
5. Have you allowed yourself to cry?
We are at the point in the year where we start reflecting.
We reflect on our wins, our losses, the changes in relationships, the many many transitions, and maybe even our desires that haven't yet come to pass. Some of us may be filled with joy, because the year brought so many wins, and you just cannot believe how much the Lord loved on you. Some of us have already hopped into the New Year, because 2025 just wasn't kind. Some of us may be in the struggle of, "It wasn't all bad, but the bad... the bad almost took me out of here.".
I think that's where I am.
Ya'll, *chuckles* I have never in my African-American days experienced a year like 2025. Like, as I type this, I keep shaking my head because there's no way I can laugh about this. BUT YOU HAVE TO LAUGH TO KEEP FROM CRYING, LAMB OF GOD.
Let me back up, cause we didn't even exhale. *loud year-long exhale*
I had some pretty amazing wins this year, I did. For one, I started this blog. I didn't know how far we would go with it, and I didn't know if anybody would ever read it... but my Lord. Ya'll almost bully me if an email is not in your inbox, FIRST thing Monday morning. I start getting texts, dms, voice notes... and I'm so not being funny. But I appreciate your support, and encouragement. I really cannot explain how much it has meant to me.
Sorry, we didn't even exhale yet. Let's start there.
*very deep inhale, exhale*
Ya'll, I told you that the last 2 months have taken me on a ride, but I don't even think that's sufficient enough to express where I've been.
In the last blog, I spoke about standards and how the love from my village made me adjust my perspective. It made me look at myself differently, evaluate my choices and make adjustments. I also shared that consequently, I've have to have some conversations, establish boundaries, and utilize my "no".
I've had to be more vocal in the last 36 days, than I've been all year probably. Back to back conversations, where I expressed my heart, answered hard questions, looked rejection in the face, told my flesh to be quiet, and having to ask God... "How do I say this?".
I don't know if you've ever been in an in-depth conversation where you wanted to go for broke, I mean call the other party everything but a child of God... and the Lord quite literally says, "AHT". Not ChatGPT (I call it Gipta), not A1, the Lord stops you from cussing them clean out. Because no matter how you feel, you still have to see them through the eyes of grace and love.
Ain't that dumb?!?! *Head tilt*
Anyhow, in the past, when I've been in emotional seasons/spaces,...Read More