I... can we just take a moment to collectively scream?
Let's just... 3, 2, 1... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wait, one more baby, just one more...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Respectfully ya'll, what in the entire world is happening?
Hold on, let me back track to do my apologetics.
*clears throat*
Yes, it has been 7 weeks since my last blog. Seven. That's a long time. But let me tell you why I'm not going to apologize for it...
Over the last 7 weeks, I have experienced everything from joyful celebrations to tearful goodbyes. I have been present in friendship. I have made it a point to say "no" to things that were taking excess energy from me. I've had outstanding maintenance requests at my apartment, that displaced me for an entire week. I celebrated a new year of life. I traveled, and made new memories with my dad. I even allowed my circle to be present for me, as I chose to be vulnerable with them.
These 7 weeks have truly taken me on the ride of my life, and I feel all of it.
I feel the swift transitions settling into my body. I feel the tears that well up in my eyes if I get too still. I feel the aches of my heart for my friends that are navigating new realities. I feel the joy of knowing that the Lord really loves me unconditionally, even if He doesn't give me what I want. I feel the power that I took back, when I set a boundary that could save my life. I feel the weariness of sudden shift changes at my part-time job, that now affect my sleep schedule. I feel the desire of romantic companionship, while knowing that I will never settle. I feel the joy of knowing that I have evolved by the second, while forgiving myself for not always making the best choices in earlier versions of myself. I feel the desire to pack up and move to the next "duty station", while knowing that God keeps saying "not yet.. there's more to be done.".
I have stories that will probably create enough blogs to get us to the end of the year, to be very honest. I even thought about making today's blog a two-part entry, considering there's been such a gap. But as you can see... its just been a lot.
*Loud Exhale with tears flowing*
Wanna know the wild part about this last month and a half? Writing is what I wanted to do more than anything. I wanted to pack up my devices, get on a plane and isolate in a cabin for about a week, just typing my life away. Not just for the blogs sake, but for me. This blog heals parts of me in such a special way. So if I'm going to apologize to anybody, it'll be to myself. Because for me, this isn't work, its a form of therapy.
That being said, by the time you finish reading this, please know that next week's blog is already queued up. (Cause if it wasn't, I'm convinced ya'll would've fought me in real time... sheesh.)
Anyhow... Do me a favor and send this to a friend, so they can subscribe and catch up.
We've got so much to discuss.
Talk soon,
Racq