This one will be rough.
*Deep exhale*
A few weeks ago, on a Thursday… I woke up and my emotions were in a frenzy. I didn’t know what was going on, but something felt very wrong.
I didn’t have any suspicious text messages, or inklings of anything being off.. but I felt it, ya know?
All the way to work, all I could get out in prayer was, “God, step in the middle of it… I don’t know what it is… but step in the middle of it.”. Tears filled my eyes, and I just had to keep breathing, but all the way there…that’s all I got out.
Fast forward, an hour into my shift, I was in my usual routine, and the Lord stopped me and said, “Do you feel better?”… I said, “Oh! Yeah, I do”. He responded, “I got in the middle of it.”… I said, “Okay cool!”. And went back to bopping through the building.
Two. Hours. Later.
I was still at work, and went to check social media, only to see a post from one of my best girls that said, “I am at FSU right now in my office…”. I stopped reading and just texted her, “What’s going on?”.
Ya’ll… there was an active shooter on campus, where TWO of my best friends work… and he was fairly close to the building that she worked in.
My whole body locked up.
Customers were in the store, and the air was leaving my body…my brain was in Tallahassee, my girls were in danger, and I was 8.5 hours away. (This is one of the parts they don’t tell you about living away from your village, but I digress.)
Anyhow, I texted my family to pray… cause I couldn’t think, I was numb. I walked outside, pacing up and down the strip while working to breathe.
Within 30 minutes, thia same friend let us know that her building had been cleared for evacuation with police escorts…. And the second friend wasn’t far behind.
I raced to my car, tears filling my eyes, and by the time I sat inside, my chest gave in… the air finally left my body, and I wailed. I couldn’t get myself together. For 30 minutes straight it was almost like I couldn't find my footing, my chest was tight, I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack, and I could do nothing about it.
When I finally came to, the next words were… “He got in the way of it.”.
*Tears*
Unfortunately, every person on that campus didn’t make it to safety that day. And my heart breaks for them, and for their families. College campuses should be havens for people to grow, to evolve, and to become better. There were 6 people injured, and 2 people lost their lives that day.
I am continually praying for FSU and the Tallahassee community.
But God… thank you for keeping my girls…
*exhales*
Talk soon,
Racq