*very loud and aggressive exhale*
Whew Chile.
I have got to continue from last week. I told ya’ll that I was completely, and utterly exhausted. Baby, I felt the weariness all through my bones. And when I sat down to write that blog, I tried to find something inspirational to say, something deep and encouraging.
It wasn’t happening.
I quickly sighed and clearly heard God say, “Just say it.”. Considering all I could get out was, “I’m tired.”, I didn’t know how relatable that would be. But this blog is about chronicling my journey, not faking the funk, so “I’m tired” was the post.
Anyhow, two days later I had a pretty long shift at work, and by the time I left, my human battery was at about 23%. I wanted to crawl straight into the bed, but my spirit was ready to talk. So, I drove to my favorite park, went to one of the open fields, and parked the car.
I exhaled very quickly, and my next words were, “Lord, I don’t know why I feel off, but I don’t like it.” Baby… from there, it was on. Whew.
I wasn’t screaming or crying; however, I did raise my voice a little bit. But God’s not scared of a little volume, I promise.
I realized that my tasks, work, projects, social events, etc. had piled up so quickly that I hadn’t taken my usual time to slip away and talk to the Father. I hadn’t leaned on my help, just attempting to use my own
strength, and we see where that got us.
Chile, before I knew it, the park rangers were telling everyone the park was closing, but thankfully I was done with my conversation.
Let me just tell you, I got home that night… I ate, and was in the bed by 8:45, WITH my bonnet on; I slept until 7:30 the next morning. And I know for a fact that I kind of woke up around 2, but had one eye open, and turned right back over. I mean, newborn sleep, okay?
I woke up so rested, and said… “All you had to do was talk to your father about it.”.
Sometimes we just need the reminder that we’re not doing this life alone, and that we have a very present help. I certainly needed the reminder, and He’s heard my mouth daily ever since, CAUSE I MISSED MY SLEEP!
Go talk to your dad.
Talk soon,
Racq