I…
This is going to be so long and will probably be a two-part posting; Yeah, that’s about right.
Ya’ll KNOW, I’ve had quite the eventful year. Well baby, these last two weeks… TUH.
I’m going to have to give background context, so you can really sit in the narrative. Kay?
Alright boom, ya’ll know I’m a PK (Pastor’s Kid), and about a year ago the Bishop of our fellowship announced that MY DAD would be consecrated as a Bishop in the Lord’s church the following year (2025). Now I’m just going to tell you bookie, big girl JUST got fully comfortable as a PK… NOW
WE TALKING ABOUT BEING A BK??!?!?
Whew tow up. TOW UP. I’ll have to do a whole ‘nother spill on having servant leaders as parents though, ‘cause… IYKYK…
Anyhow, when the announcement was made, I was still living in Tallahassee and highly engulfed in my plans to relocate. Which means, I didn’t think to write down the dates for the conference, etc. I was thinking about how I was about to take this leap of a lifetime.
Fast forward about 3 months, one of my good girlfriends from back home called to ask me if I would be a bridesmaid in her wedding the following summer. I was ELATED! I mean this is somebody who ALWAYS shows up for others and has always had my back. The idea of standing behind her to cover,
pray and support as she said YES to her forever? Easy… right?
Well, in the middle of my excitement I called my mom and said, “T asked me to be in her wedding!”. My mom’s immediate response was, “Well what’s the date?”, and when I told her she paused. Her next statement was, “Racq that’s the same weekend as your dad’s elevation service.”. I sighed, but in the
very next breath said, “Well, we’ll figure it out!”.
Now Racquel… anybody can see that this isn’t the smartest decision, AT ALL. We’re talking about multiple flights, dollars, hotels, OUTFITS, and E N E R G Y that you’re about to spend on OTHER people. At no point did you factor in your overall health or give space for life to LIFE. You
don’t even know what life is about to look like in the next 9 months. I had time to call my girl back and say “Hey boo, xyz.. I won’t be able to pull it off”. She would’ve understood, truly. Not one dollar had been spent yet, I had time to save myself about 4 different kinds of stress… but do you think I made
the call? Of course not. ‘Cause I’m superwoman… right? (Don’t worry sugga, my therapist and I are currently working through “people pleasing”, and NO is my new favorite word.)
Welp. Like clockwork, life began to life like it had never life’d before. And by the time I felt like I was getting my footing… baby it was March. And by April, I spent money to fly in for the bridal shower. Again, could I have missed it and sent a gift? SURE. I was the only bridesmaid more than 3
hours away, and they would’ve understood. But… no, I showed up… even though it
costed me. AND HONEY I NEEDED THAT MONEY. By May, the cost of bridesmaid
attire, paired with the stress of finding outfits for a convocation, and figuring out travel between both events was slowly taking a toll on both my mind and body. But at any point did I say, “I just can’t do this?” Nope. Just curating the perfect storm each day that I didn’t choose myself.
Ain’t that something?
Now you know we gotta pause here, but I’ll finish it nextweek.
BRB.
Talk soon,
Racq