Good Morning Praise The Lord! (Have you ordered your shirt yet?)
Alrightyyyy, I think I left off at me butchering my hair at the root.
So, the morning of my appointment, I had a few virtual meetings and emails to tend to. While I was working through those tasks, I let my butchered cut just fly free. No cover, no wrap, bonnet, just bare; wild.
But as the time drew closer to my hair appointment, I was excited and also a wee bit nervous. I knew my stylist would have to shape my hair, which meant it would be shorter than its current state. But at this point, we were too far into it, and I just had to see it through.
I took a quick pause, and made the executive decision to do my makeup. Hear me out… IF by chance, this haircut turned out to be a literal nightmare, I refused for my face card to decline.
REFUSED.
I said, if nothing else, I will take pictures from the forehead down because no.
Turned out, the haircut and color, ATE DINEEEEE. Now it was up to me, to walk with my head high like I could handle this new crown.
THIS was the challenge.
Once I wiped the makeup off, laid the lashes on the counter, and looked in the mirror, was I going to like what I saw? Or would I instantly run to the nearest beauty supply to stuff a buggy with new wigs and head scarves?
I chose to sit in it.
I looked at the shape of my head, I analyzed every blemish on my face. I felt my skin, rubbed my head repeatedly and realized, this was the most feminine I’d ever felt. WILD.
But you know what else happened? Every opinion I’d heard and digested from others, had seemingly washed away. For the first time, in I don’t know how long, I was more concerned with how I felt, than with how I was perceived. Hear me, not in a cocky way. In a way that was sure, a way that solidified who I was; who I’ve always been.
I’m now a little over a month into this new leg of the journey, and I see EVERYTHING differently.
One thing for sure, I cared a little too much about what others thought about me. I cared a little too much about holding onto pain that needed to be released or repurposed. And I spent entirely too much time, ensuring that I was palatable to the world, when they didn’t put me in any position; God did.
He knows how He crafted me; with all of my quirks, kinks, and issues. Yet, He deemed me worthy enough to sit in every seat, make every call, and walk into rooms like I belong there; because I do.
We’ll dive into some of my new revelations next week. But in the meantime, order your merch, and send this to somebody who’s on a discovery journey.
Talk soon,
Racq