Chile.
First of all, Happy New Year! (And and and, TAKE THAT "S" OFF THE END 'FORE I START HOLLIN!)
Now... *very loud exhale* and *Fast blinking*
This is really going to sound like a yap session, so you'll just have to hang on for a second.
Ya'll, today somebody asked me how I was doing, and they wanted a very real answer; They wanted the truth. Ehh. Idk if ya'll have ever had an Amos 9:13 season, but trying to recall the details of your life when things are moving SO FAST, will in fact make your head spin.
I'm usually a really detailed storyteller, I mean hey... I'm an authoress. *hair flip* But over the last 6 weeks... I have forgotten SO many parts, while trying to recall the play by play of each event. Too many times, the days have just run together, and I have to go back to remember what event happened on what day, etc. Here's where I quickly have to insert grace for myself, because Quel... all of this is new. Breathe.
Let's go back to the end of last year for a moment.
Now, ya'll know I have been working part-time in retail since February. Well baby, 'round top of November my grace was lifting. I just... I was in a very "over it" kind of headspace, ya know? And historically on this faith walk, once I become EASILY irritated somewhere, I know a transition is upon me. It is a clear indication that something is on the horizon, and I need to prepare myself for the NEXT.
Well, one day at work I reallllllyyyy had enough. You know those days where you look around the room and say, WHY AM I EVEN HERE?!?! Yeah, that's where I was. I got off late that evening, but I went straight to my ipad, restructured my resume, and applied to about 20 jobs. (I am not joking) I sat there and applied for one position after the other. The next night, I came back and applied for at least 10 more. Within a day or so, the denial and "another candidate was selected" emails started rolling in. The first one hurt, but after that I just said "Hey God, I know what I feel so it is what it is."
I wasn't wrong.
Within a couple of weeks, I was approached about a new position. One that I didn't even know was looking to be filled, but it was certainly the type of position that I told God I wanted. And it was proof, that He hears me when I pray. The day the inquiry came in the Lord QUICKLY gave me the okay to move forward, if the position was offered. I very loudly responded, "ARE WE SURE ABOUT THIS?!?", 'cause I... anyway, I just needed to be sure that He was sure, ya know?!
*chuckles*
The position was scheduled to begin the top of January, which meant if I wanted to go visit my family for Christmas I could go and spend a good amount of time. But here's where things got tricky. My lease at my apartment was scheduled to end December 28th, which meant I needed to be fully moved out prior to getting on a plane.
Literally is anybody praying for my emotional and mental well-being, because HUH?
Moving is probably one of the top 3 most exhausting tasks that an adult can take on, and I want to be a brand ambassador for U-Haul at this point. Anyhow, I refused to be overwhelmed. So, I called up the gang screaming, "HALP!". In 2 days flat, we knocked out packing and moving, and I was on a flight the very next morning.
After a week and a half of being with family (another conversation for another day), I came back to hop right into my new role.
*Loud exhale*
Have I slept? Yeah, eventually I did. Have I taken a moment to be still? No. Am I still in the middle of transition? Yes. Do I feel settled, and in a secure rhythym? No.
My head is still spinning. I'm grieving, yet rejoicing. I'm excited, yet working not to be anxious. I'm at peace, but still thinking about the next thing on the "to do" list.
But after successfully completing my first week of work, I have a pretty good idea of how I need to adjust. And I will be intentionally carving out time this week, to sit by a body of water to breathe until stuff starts making sense.
One thing I know for sure... I couldn't wait to get back to this laptop. This blog is my saving grace, so thank you for coming back.
Be patient with me, there's a lot I need to say over the next few weeks.
Alright.
Talk Soon,
Racq